15 quotes of George Van Smoot (The Captain) cover image
Image Credit: CBS

The Captain’s Top 15 Quotes From HIMYM

Okay, we get it. There are a lot of things to dislike about the later seasons of How I Met Your Mother. But kids, ahem, folks – The Captain is not one of them!

George Van Smoot, aka The Captain, is familiar to us for being 1) a huge boat enthusiast, 2) Zoey’s ex-husband and 3) Lily’s employer (in that order of importance we might add). Now, before you go on about his hunting lodge, we’ll have you know that while he seemed mysterious and pretty intimidating at first… The Captain is alright thank you very much.

So, in recognition of one of the show’s most enjoyable characters (outside of the usual gang), here are 15 of our favorite quotes from The Captain.

The Captain: Lily, I hope you’re not calling to harpoon our big move to Rome.

How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 21: “Romeward Bound”

The Captain: Well, thanks for all your hard work Lily. I’ve never been good at goodbyes, so [hangs up].

How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 21: “Romeward Bound”

Ted: To the study?
The Captain: To the study!

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 17: “Garbage Island”

The Captain: I know how these things work. He holds her package, and pretty soon she’s holding his.

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 17: “Garbage Island”

The Captain: If I wanted to kill you, I’d invite you to my hunting lodge. It’s far more remote, and I wouldn’t have to worry about you turning up in some nosy fisherman’s net.

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 11: “The Mermaid Theory”

The Captain: Well, well, Ted Mosby, my old nemesis.

How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 17: “The Ashtray”

The Captain: Lily, small order of business: I’m moving to Rome and I’d like you to come with me.

How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 21: “Romeward Bound”

Ted: So, Captain. How’d you get that name, anyway?
The Captain: A real man chooses his own name.

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 8: “Natural History”

The Captain: I understand it’s a big decision, take all the time you need! Just let me know by the end of the day.

How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 21: “Romeward Bound”

The Captain: The artist is serving two consecutive life sentences for aggravated homicide. I’m willing to go as high as six cartons of cigarettes and a jug of toilet wine.

How I Met Your Mother Season 8 Episode 19: “The Fortress”

The Captain: Boys! Great to see you looking smart! Have a wonderful time tonight, okay? Okay! [glares and closes car window]

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 11: “The Mermaid Theory”

The Captain: Looks like it’s just you, me, and 6 hours in frigid international waters.

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 11: “The Mermaid Theory”

The Captain: Somebody help me, I’m trapped on a boat with a madman!

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 11: “The Mermaid Theory”

The Captain: Ted, beneath this lustrous mane, I wear the horns of a cuckold.

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 17: “Garbage Island”

The Captain: We had great big boners for each other.

How I Met Your Mother Season 6 Episode 17: “Garbage Island”

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