The 27 Best Kevin Malone Quotes

With 9 glorious seasons, The Office has some of the best tv characters of all time. While it’s true that Michael, Dwight or Jim take up most of the limelight, every now and then everyone’s, favorite office accountant would steal the show.

If you’re a big Kevin Malone fan like us, check out these quotes below to relive some of his most hilarious moments.

  1. Kevin: After Stacey left, things did not go well for a while. And, it was hard to see.. It’s just nice to win one.
  2. Why waste time, say lot word when few word do trick?
  3. I got six numbers, one more and it would have been a complete phone number.
  4. Kevin: A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea, so if you go fishing for a fluke, chances are you just might catch one.
  5. Kevin: I have very little patience for stupidity.
Trivia Night Fluke Quote
  1. Kevin: I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman’s gotta take off his cape.
  2. Kevin: You go to the bathroom for 45 minutes and everything changes.
  3. Kevin: You think this is a great party? This cake has vegetables in it like a salad bar, Robert.
  4. Kevin: Do you like it as much as you like men’s butts?
  5. No, it’s not Aston Kutcher, it’s me Kevin Malone.
Image Credit: NBC
  1. Kevin: Good old Kevin. He’ll do anything. Well guess what? I will not do a good job.
  2. Kevin: Angel’a’s cats are so cute. You just want to eat them. But you can’t eat cats. You can’t eat cats, Kevin.
  3. I want to be wined and dined and sixty-nined.
  4. Kevin: The people here are amazing debaters. I guess you can say they are master-debaters.
  5. I am totally gonna bang Holly.
  1. Well, well, well, well, well. That’s six wells. Did I get that number right, Dwight?
  2. He lives on Sesame Street, Dumbass!
  3. I thought Rajinghanda was a boy’s name.
  4. Turtle meme
  5. I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
  1. Mini-cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of a cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?
  2. Kevin: (practicing CPR, tired and panicked) I can’t do this forever.
    Instructor: It’s been twenty seconds.
    Kevin: Call it.
  3. Dwight: What are you doing? 
    Kevin: I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket, in a blanket.
  4. The only problem is whenever I try to make a taco, I get too excited and crush it.
  5. Jim: Hey Kev. How was your weekend?
    Kevin: Good, I watched TV for 14 hours.
The Office Episode 'The Incentive' - Kevin Malone speech on saving time
Image Credit: NBC
  1. Dwight: Do you even know where paper comes from?
    Kevin: Uh… the man tree put his penis..
    Dwight: Okay! okay! 
  2. My name is Kevin, that is my name, they call me Kevin, cause that’s my name.

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