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The 17 Best Michael Scott Fun Run Quotes

What do you do when your employee gets hit by a car? Well, you do what all other managers wish they had thought of. You do the only thing that makes sense! And that’s to organize a Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure.

Okay, never mind the minor detail that Michael is the one who hit Meredith, this is still inspirational leadership at its very best! In honor of the world’s most inspiring boss, here are our 17 favorite quotes from The Office episode – Fun Run.

  1. Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally, I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No, don’t sue me. That’s the opposite of the point that I am trying to make.
  2. Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not, like, this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.
  3. I’m not superstitious but… I’m a little ‘stitious.
  4. Is there a God? If not, then what are all these churches for? And who is Jesus’ dad?
  5. So Ryan got promoted to corporate. Where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas back here in Scranton, I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So who is the real boss? The dog or a fish?
  6. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit. Well, today I had a triumph of the human body. That’s why everyone was applauding for me at the end. My guts and my heart. And while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I’m very, very proud of that.
  7. This is going to be a very good year. Very good. Jan is at home. Jim is back. My protege Ryan is at corporate. Good stuff. Andy and Dwight are rocking the sales team. I feel very blessed. Oh! [drives car into Meredith].
  8. [Paces up and down the floor] Ladies and gentleman. I have some very bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
  9. It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital and the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best that they could and she is going to be okay.
  10. It’s kinda a good news/bad news there. I was able to be on the scene so quickly, because I was in the car that hit her.
  11. Yeah, it’s only Meredith. Thank God. But did you see the way that they looked at me? Like I was a murderer or something.
  12. Yes, it was on company property. With company property. So double jeopardy, we are fine.
  13. Pam: Michael, Angela’s cat died.
    Michael: Sprinkles? [sighs and sits down]. I’m sorry, Angela. Man, what a day, huh? How could it get any worse? Her computer crashes with the porn, and then Meredith with the accident and then.. Prinkles! God! That’s three things. I’ll tell you what’s going on. This office is cursed and we need to do something about it.
  14. Pam, you’re an artist, right? Think of me as one of your models. You know what, I don’t want this to really detract from what we’re here to think about today. It’s not fair to the people with rabies. And that’s the point, right?
  15. Fettucine alfredo. Time to carbo load.
  16. I’m fast. Very fast! I’m like Forest Gump, except I am not an idiot.
  17. There’s just one of me. And a thousand of them. And rabies wins.

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