Cover of Michael, Dwight, Jim from The Office episode "Customer Survey"
Image Credit: NBC

The Office: The 11 Best Michael Scott Quotes From Customer Survey

Customer Survey will always be somewhere in our top 5 episodes of all time. There are a lot of hilarious episodes but this is one of our favorites.
Interestingly.. some trivia facts include – This was the only episode directed by Stephen Merchant (the creator of the original UK version of the show). And, fans also got a chance to purchase the mugs from Kelly’s party on the official NBC website after the episode aired.

Jim: Who is this?
Michael: Hello, this is Michael Scott, Regional Manager.
Jim: Well, this is William M. Buttlicker.
Michael: Hello, Mr. Buttlicker. How may we help you?
Jim: Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna buy $1 million dollars worth of paper products today.


Andy: Big idea: Double wedding. Me, Angela. You, Holly.
Michael: Yeah, we would never do that. And if we did, it would be with Jim and Pam.


Michael: Mom, I’m getting married.
Mom: No, you’re not.
Michael: Why do you always do that. Whenever I’m getting married, you… don’t believe me.
Mom: Well, are you getting married?
Michael: No. [laughs] I’m not. I’m not getting married.


Michael: Kelly Kapoor is our dusky, exotic, customer service rep. And once a year she will contact our clients and find out how happy they are with our salespeople. Sort of a Kapoor’s list.


Michael: Dwight, your feedback is horrible.
Dwight: That’s impossible.
Michael: A number of your clients found your personal style abrasive and distasteful.


Michael: “Jim Halpert is smudge and arrogant.”
Jim: I think you mean smug.
Michael: [points at Jim] arrogant.
Jim: Michael, I’m just trying…
Michael: And there’s our smudgeness.


Michael: Here’s what’s going to happen. I am going to have to fix you. Manage you two on a more personal scale. A more micro form of management. Jim, what is that called?
Jim: Microgement.
Michael: Boom. Yes!


Dwight: [shouting] Buttlicker, our prices have never been louder!
Michael: Stop it! Stop it! [whispering] That is totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client. You never yell at the client. Here we go.


Dwight: Don’t do it, Michael.
Michael: [whispering] It’s a $1million dollar sale.


Michael: You know what? She’s got a point about you two. You do have a problem dealing with people.


Michael: I can’t tell you how much leftover guacamole I have ended up eating over the years. I don’t even know why I make it in such great quantities.


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