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The Best Michael Scott Quotes From Phyllis’ Wedding

Michael: Phyllis is getting married and I am in the wedding party. She has asked me to push her father’s wheelchair down the aisle. So basically, I am co-giving away the bride.

The Office Season 3 Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”

Michael: Since I pay her salary it is like I am paying for the wedding. Which I’m happy to do. It’s a big day for Phyllis, but it’s an even bigger day for me. Employer of the bride.

The Office Season 3 Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”

Michael: There she is! I swear, Phyllis, you are as beautiful as the first day you started at Dunder Mifflin.

The Office Season 3 Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”

Michael: [Whispering] Phyllis, did you break wind? It’s okay if you did. It’s a very natural reaction. It’s your wedding and you’re nervous.
Phyllis: That wasn’t me.
Michael: Okay. Um.. I’m sure that Bob.. wow, that is… [sighs] that is pungent. Um… I lost my train of thought. Uh.. are you set on that hairstyle?

The Office Season 3 Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”

Michael: You might be surprised to learn that I have only been to one other wedding. It’s actually a very cute story. My mom was marrying Jeff and they asked me to be ring bearer and I was understandably emotional.. [child crying on the video tape].. and somehow my pants became wet.

The Office Season 3 Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”

Michael: Me walking Phyllis down the aisle was supposed to be the highlight of the wedding. And now… the wedding has no highlight.

The Office Season 3 Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”

Michael: Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time as a couple, Mr. and Mrs. Bob Vance!

The Office Season 3 Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”

Michael: Thank you, Randy! That was great. Thank you. Thank you very much. Hi, I’m Michael Scott and for the next 40 minutes, I am going to be your tour guide through the lives of Phyllis Lapin and Bob Vance. One of the great, seemingly impossible love stories of our time.

The Office Season 3 Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”

Michael: Webster’s Dictionary defines “wedding” as the fusing of two metals with a hot torch. Well, you know something? I think you guys are two metals… gold medals.

The Office Season 3 Episode 15: “Phyllis’ Wedding”

Now, a lot of fans will argue that ‘Scott’s Tots’ is the most cringeworthy episode of The Office but this one definitely ranks right up there! We’re treated to not just one or two noteworthy quotes but a whole list of which we’ve highlighted our favorites. From slowly dragging the wheelchair down the aisle to delivering an unasked for, impromptu speech, Michael’s painful lack of self-awareness is front and center in this comedy special.

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