Cover of Step Brothers (quotes)

Step Brothers: The 30 Most Hilarious Quotes

Any time Will Ferrell and Adam McKay combine, we know we’re in for a ride. It’s like they’re on a two man mission to make the funniest and most quotable comedies of all time. Following on from the success of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, they did it again with Step Brothers.

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While we can only continue to hope for a much talked about sequel, for now – here’s a look back at 30 of the best and most iconic quotes from Step Brothers.


  1. Dale: “That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”
  2. Dale: “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.”
  3. Brennan: “Did we just become best friends?”
  4. Dale: “Dad, we’re men. That means a few things. We like to shit with the door open. We talk about pussy. We go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.”
  5. Brennan: “Your drumset is a whore. I teabagged your drumset!”
Brennan and Dale (Step Brothers)
  1. Dale: “Gotta have my boats and hoes!”
  2. Brennan: “I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I’m smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes, I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and.. I just figure it out.”
  3. Brennan: “Robert better not get in my face.. ’cause I’ll drop that motherfucker.”
  4. Dale: “Dad! What are you doing? It’s Shark Week!”
  5. Brennan: “Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?”
Brennan and Dale Interview Scene (Step Brothers)
  1. Brennan: “Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your ass”
  2. Brennan: “No way, Kemosabe. This is my house now.”
  3. Dale: “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.”
  4. Dale: “On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.”
  5. Dale: “Shut up. You’ll wake up my Dad and get me grounded.”
Step Brothers funny quotes
  1. Dale: “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.”
  2. Brennan: “I felt like I was hovering over my own body, watching myself sing.”
  3. Dale: “Why are you so sweaty?”
    Brennan: “I was watching cops.”
  4. Dale: “But I’m alive! Brennan, I’m alive!”
  5. Brennan: “Close you eyes. Let the dirt just shower over you.”
  1. Brennan: “Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.”
  2. Dale: “I would follow you into the mists of Avalon if that’s what you mean.”
  3. Dale: “You’re gonna love this neighborhood. Every single house here recycles.”
  4. Brennan: “There’s so much more room for activities.”
  5. Brennan: “You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.”
Portrait of Step Brothers Family
  1. Dale: “Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”
  2. Dale: “Why do you have Randy Jackson’s autograph on a martial arts weapon?”
  3. Brennan: “This house is a fucking prison!”
  4. Brennan: “I did start taking baby aspirin. To reduce my risk for heart attack.”
  5.  Dale: “Dad, why are you talking to me like this? I’m your son.”

Which of these funny Step Brothers Quotes is your go to?

Hopefully, your favorite quotes made the cut! From the very start to end, this movie is packed full with outrageous moments and one liners.

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